Well, everyone now and then I need to get off my chest a few things. Working full time is hard, dropping off you little one every day is hard. Having to see someone else look after them is hard. Well yes sometimes being a mother is just, well, hard.
This imaginable guilt still resides in my chest every time I have to drop my little one off to daycare everyday. Yes, I have received the questions from other mothers “Why, and how do you do it?”
Well let me answer this one for you.
Firstly – why do I?
I could sell my family home which I have worked hard for, I could sell up and go and rent, I could move to the country away from family and friends, and I know mothers have done this for their children, and to also be able to be a stay at home mother, I applaud these mothers as this is what works for their family. However, it would not working for my family. Firstly. renting is expensive, we all know this. Secondly my husband works in a local area so travelling everyday could occur but it is not a long term solution. Could I sacrifice things to be a stay at home mother? Possibly, for a few months however we could not afford it in the long run, I am not ashamed to say that. I work hard to provide a fantastic modest lifestyle for my family. Some months bills can add up but there is always amazing food on the table, and clothes on my kids back. I don’t chose to still work for my career. I can tell you right now, I would love to stay at home with my little one each day and see him everyday. However I also don’t feel like I could be doing him justice if I did this. Why? because I think daycare is an amazing opportunity to learn and to grow and to experience socializing with their same age group.
Is this a lie I tell myself everyday to make me feel better? Maybe, but I don’t think so. I love seeing him smile and laugh and make friends (our daycare sends us photos throughout the day) I have never seen him upset in any photo, he also loves book time and his teachers.
Another reason is I want my children to grow up being able to enjoy their family, and friends, I don’t want them to have to travel an hour to see Nana and Pa. I also want to treat them to a toy every now and then for no reason at all. I want to take them on holidays so they can experience the beach and the waves, the trees and nature. If I didn’t work I would sacrifice a lot, not just for myself but for my children and how I want to see them grow. Ultimately I feel like I sacrifice my wants and needs by having my child with me everyday for them. I know a lot of mothers would disagree with me and that is fine, and what works for me would not work for other mothers. Ultimately I earn too much to be able to justify staying home, with is a great thing but also a curse I guess lol.
The second question is how?
In a physical sense I am mostly always exhausted and I only have one kid – WTF!!!
I feel like I am constantly running and I know I am writing this because I need a rant, probably to keep me sane.
I like to keep a tidy home so as you can see from my blog that involves a lot of organisation tips from pinterest mostly. My life could not progress without organisation – and for that I am a freak.
Ultimately I just want my child and future children to be happy. I want them to experience a mother than runs and plays with them, I refuse to be a spectator mother – if they are climbing a tree I will climb one with them. I want them to grow up and recognise how much their mother worked hard for them, I feel that way about my mother and she has taught me the importance of hard work (and she WAS a stay at home mother so trust me I know what hard work is and I know how hard stay at home mothers work)
So at the end of the day, I will complain, and I will come home to more washing that needs to be done, and folding and a bathroom that needs to be cleaned but that’s ok. because at the end of the day I feel like even though every day can feel hard. I know I am succeeding slowly, I have a happy little boy and he gives the best cuddles. So I will once again go home tonight with a pile of washing to fold and fall into bed and I will get up and do it all again tomorrow.